It wasn’t something that happened overnight. It never is. He creeps in, slowly, surely. Quietly.
We have been thinking/praying about a third child and looking at what that would look like for our little family. For 18 months or so though, I have listened to a lie.
That I couldn’t handle another one.
Small things would happen and I would hear that voice “you think you want another?” Months go by. Then I would respond the wrong way to my children and the voice would move from a whisper to a voice “and you think another one would be easier? that that would be wise?” More months went by and I still was not the perfect parent* and a friend said to me “are you sure you want another? Is that the best thing.” So many voices.
None of them the Lord’s.
I realized like a slap in the face, a splash of cold water, through a gentle word, that NO, that is not what the Lord says to us moms (*that we are incapable of handling anything else or that we are not perfect parents, or perfect anything, really. We are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, praise the Lord!). Girls, (and boys) if it is not the Lord speaking to you, there is only one other option: Satan.
A soft voice, of affirmation, spoke truth to me that day. “You are capable of what He gives you. You are capable of what He takes away. He makes you capable, no one else.”
So, I am not sure what the future holds regarding a third child. But one thing is for sure.
I am not listening to Satan anymore.
The decision is no longer based on my capabilities, but on His gits and His will, and His capability to equip me/us for whatever He holds.