In less than two weeks, I travel to India for the first time since having kids (3 yo boy, 1yo girl). My husband is staying, holding down the fort and his parents are coming to help. My biggest insecurity? my mother in law. It’s not traveling, being far away, leaving them behind, worrying about them…but family.
The last 3 weeks have sustained a barrage questions in my head: will my house be clean enough for her? Will she enjoy me being gone and wish it were always that way? Will my husband wish they lived closer and miss her being close by? Will my husband like her cooking better? Will the kids get any discipline? Will they want me back when I return? Will my husband question everything I do as a mother because his mother does it better?
All of these are totally unreasonable and not from the Lord, but the questions still play in my head, like a song stuck on repeat.
I can’t stop the questions, but can counter-act them with the most powerful sword, the word of God:
Jeremiah 33:3 – “Call to me and I will tell you great and unsearchable thing you do not know.”
Matthew 6:28 – “And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin.”
Luke 12:24 – “Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds.”
If He values me more than all the birds, then my value should be in Him and not on whether I meet my mil’s expectations. The question(s) really should be: did I obey Him today? Did I honor Him? Did I listen to His voice?
So, for the moment, the torrent of questions has ceased, as I seek to ‘hold every thought captive to Christ’ and hang on for this incredible ride. 🙂